YOU ARE SO ENOUGH
I wanted to share this blog post that I wrote three years ago.. The point of me re-posting is because I have a lot of new friends and followers that I would love to share this message with!
Three years later I want you to know that YOU ARE SO ENOUGH! Don't ever give up on yourself. Times are very different right now but that doesn't mean you should let your life spiral. Rise above and keep pushing towards your goals and dreams! Surround yourself with the right people.
Down below you will read about some difficult times I went through. Specifically breaking my femur and having emergency surgery back in 2008. You guys that was TWELVE YEARS AGO yesterday! Holy moly! Back then if you told me that I would become a Cyclebar instructor in 2020, I would have laughed in your face. Never in a million years did I ever think I would enter the world of fitness training. I didn't think my body was capable. Over the years I fell in love with health and fitness. I have worked so hard to get my knees and legs strong. Along with all of the physical work there has been a lot of mental work to improve. Shifting my mind set, not giving up, and trying to stay positive & inspired.
I feel aches and pains in my leg every single day but I will NOT let that stop me or be an excuse. If there is something holding you back, try to look at it from a different perspective. Make it motivate you to make a change. It can be the smallest change but it is a start. Keep moving forward, keeping setting new goals, keep your beautiful head up and heart open! If you are completely happy and content with where you are in life right now, that is amazing and enjoy it! Where ever you are in life, whoever you are, who ever you want to be, whatever you want to do with your life just remember, YOU ARE SO ENOUGH!
This is a long read but I promise it is a good one!
I have joked since I was fifteen years old about never being able to be a leg model because of the scars on my legs. Growing up I played soccer, danced, raced dirt bikes, played volleyball and much more. I found out when I was twelve years old that I had knee issues and that someday I would have to have major surgery on both of them. When I was fifteen I had my first reconstructive knee surgery after dislocating my kneecap playing soccer and breaking half of the knee cap off.
Two years later I was out at a motorcycle race just messing around and dislocated my other knee which called for going into surgery the following week.
The doctor had to move the attachment point of the tendon that keeps my patella (knee cap) in place. It was too far off to the side, which pulled my patella sideways. He glued back the big piece of patella that had broken off and took out all the little fragments that had chipped as a result from the multiple dislocations. Then tightened and loosened ligaments here and there.
In July of 2008 I was taking my new dirt bike for a little test ride before work one summer morning and all of a sudden the back tire slipped out on dry grass and I slowly fell. At that time I was in a lot of pain lying on the ground trying to turn the bike off so someone up at the house could hear me yell for help. I thought my knee was just dislocated so I had Parker come down and load me up in the truck to take me back up to the house.
After a while of contemplating what to do, I finally decided that it was probably best to go to the emergency room. Once I got to the emergency room it took quite a while to get x-rays and all that jazz as my leg was definitely not in good shape looking twisted from the knee down. Once the results came back, it turned out that I had a broken my femur into three pieces at the top of my knee. I held it together until the moment the doctor walked in and told me I would have to go into surgery. Then I lost my marbles, broke down and finally cried. What's one more reconstructive surgery at this point, right?!
The doctor put a plate and who knows how many screws in my femur. To this day I still have every piece of hardware in my legs.
Remember this is back in 2008 before we had fancy phones with nice cameras!
My recovery time was about six to eight weeks. At this point in time I still lived at home with my parents. For a week straight I stayed up stairs in my room recovering.
During the six weeks I had a lot of growth emotionally and spiritually. I had so much time to think, probably a little too much time to think haha. Thank God I had my mom, Parker and my Yorkie Oliver who was just a tiny puppy at the time. I would spend my days watching the show What Not to Wear. It completely inspired me to look into becoming a wardrobe consultant. If they could help the average, everyday person why couldn’t I? I was fascinated by the amazing transformations and the way they made their clients feel. I wanted to help people with their personal image and help them to feel beautiful in their own skin and have a lot more confidence.
I quickly got on Amazon and started ordering a ton of wardrobe styling books to study!
At the end of six weeks I had kind of gotten a little depressed. I couldn't wear the clothes I wanted because of my brace, I couldn't walk right or wear cute shoes, it took me forever to get from one place to another. I was really starting to have pity for myself and get frustrated and think “why me? why did this happen to me”? But then one day I had the realization that my Grandpa who has been in a wheelchair for almost all of his life never complained! He had such a sweet soul and was a very strong man. Such an inspiration.
Thinking about all the things my Grandpa went through in life, it gave me a completely different outlook on my situation.
I was lucky that someday I would be able to walk again and hopefully be active like I was in the past.
About five years ago I was inspired by my mom to start working out! I never thought that I'd be able to run again after all the surgeries and they way my knees have felt since having them.
I am so lucky that I am able to run, hike, work out and be really active! I have worked so hard to get to this place with my physical activity. 💪🏼👍🏼
I'm not going to lie, I am in pain daily BUT nothing can stop me!
Over the years I have been self conscious about my scars. I would think, “maybe I shouldn’t wear shorts?!” …. I walk through stores and people seem to make eye contact with my scars way before my eyes. I get crazy looks all the time. It has only been in the last couple of years that I am finally okay with my body. These scars are a piece of me and I have nothing to be ashamed of. So why not get comfortable and rock them?! So here I am “rocking” my scars! This is me.
I wanted to share my story with all of you because YOU ARE SO ENOUGH! No matter where you are in life! emotionally, physically, mentally etc. You Are So Enough! Look at the beauty in your life, think about the positives, give gratitude for you and where you are. Good things can come from not so great situations.
Love you all!
XOXO