Mental Health Awareness

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

I have been debating on writing this post for over a year and I have thought about writing this post everyday this month. The month is almost over but here it is.

I was diagnosed with a chemical imbalance when I was sixteen years old. Depression runs in my family. Depression is a lot more common than people realize. I am writing this to make people aware. I am a happy person and I love my life! I am so truly grateful for this life I live! But even though it’s wonderful, I struggle. I have been medicated on and off since I was sixteen. There have been times where I didn’t think I needed the medication to help me but I really did.

When I was pregnant with Bennan I was not medicated and I did not feel like I needed to be. I was SO happy and I loved being pregnant! It wasn’t until Bennan was nine months old that I realized I needed help again. This time it was not just depression but I was struggling with anxiety too. I am so grateful that I figured it out before it got too bad.

Once I found out that I was pregnant with Cora, I immediately went off medication.

My pregnancy with her was so different then my pregnancy with B. I was so depressed the whole time. It was so bad that I talked to the doctor about going on medication which I am very against taking antidepressants while pregnant. My doctor told me to exercise, eat clean and lower my stress level. So I did.. it was hard especially working part time, keeping up the house, chasing a toddler and trying to be a great wife.

The week before I had Cora I had a major panic attack which I had never had before but it was so scary! I felt like I couldn’t breathe, I was crying hysterical and almost asked Parker to come home from work.

After I had Cora my anxiety got a lot worse. When Cora was about two months old there was a day that I can remember bringing the kids home from the park and just crying on my way home. I couldn’t even explain it to Parker and couldn’t calm down. Luckily I had made a doctor appointment and was able to get seen quickly a couple days later.

I then had to choose between getting on meds or continuing to nurse Cora. Which is an emotional decision. I consulted with my doctors and Cora’s doctor and we all decided “a happy & healthy Mom is more important than a nursing Mom”.

Just because I am medicated does not mean that I still don’t struggle. Some days are better than others. I definitely still deal with anxiety but I try to keep my stress levels down and I try to be patient with the kids.

I have found that working out helps me SO much! If anyone struggles with depression and anxiety, I highly suggest finding a work out that you love! I go to Spin class and not only is that “my” time but I clear my head and sweaty out the toxins! At least that is how I feel haha!

You guys I have debated writing this because I never wanted it to sound like “poor me blah blah” I want to make people aware that depression is a real thing and you never know who could be fighting it. I encourage people to get help, talk to someone, reach out!

It’s okay to ask for help and guidance. I share my everyday life with everyone because I want to inspire YOU! Just like so many people inspire me. ♥️

I love my life, my husband, my kids, my family and I am so beyond grateful for this life! I thank god everyday!